THOUGHTS ON: Batman VS Superman

I should have known it was too good to be true: a film where Batman and Superman brawl, right there on the big screen. It’s not like we haven’t witnessed it before, countless comic issues as well as The Dark Knight Returns were every DC fan’s wet dream, but this was gonna be a big budget, live action adaption.

We can all admit that we were excited for it. Even if you were suffering from superhero fatigue at the time, as soon as that trailer dropped you knew you had to see it. God Versus Man. Day VS Night. The Son Of Krypton vs The Bat Of Gotham. It was shaping up to be the must see film of the year, arguably the decade.

So why do I feel so disappointed?


A big

SPOILER ALERT

is needed as there’s no way I can talk about this film’s flaws without going into some detail. Oh, not that I should have to mention this but this is my opinion so if you liked the film, hell, even if you loved the film, that’s fine. I’m glad you had fun with it as the numb feeling I endured when walking out of the cinema is not something that should be envied.

Where better to start than addressing the title itself as, after all, the main reason you probably went to see this film was to see The Dark Knight take on the Man of Steel. The fight itself wasn’t actually horrible, both characters putting in an equal amount of punches though Batman undoubtedly was the victor. Or would be anyway if it weren’t for the stupid fucking reason they stop fighting.

The reason they start fighting isn’t exactly well thought out either. What should be a battle fueled by their conflicting ideologies, which isn’t so much hinted but flat out stated during the movie, is instead down to Superman having to so he can save his mother. This will be totally subjective as will everything else I list but really? It’s 2016 and we’re still using “x’s y is captured by z” as a motive to move things forward, possibly the biggest cliche in the superhero book.

Back on track however, one word will stick in your mind and possibly in any cinema staff having to stand outside the screen due to the loudness: Martha. Believe me when I say this that Batman and Superman stop fighting because their mum’s have the same name. You can try and excuse this by saying “Bruce lost his mother so he doesn’t want Clark to go through that” and I’d say good point and also how are you talking to me when I’m the one writing this?

I’d also say that Batman, with his view that Superman needs to be destroyed as he is too dangerous, wouldn’t do this. Batman straight up murders people and there’s no way to deny it as at one point he chucks a grenade into a small room with two people as well as setting a guy on fire. While I’m not overly bothered about him going against his usual moral code, it seems odd that a guy who so unempathetically murders crooks who no doubt have families of their own somehow turns a new leaf as soon as Superman mentions his mum. Not only that but they act like best buds after this revelation despite the fact Batman was about to stab Superman into something that would titled a kryptonian kebab just a few seconds ago.

Let’s change focus now and have a look at the man who set, and I use that word very lightly, this fight up: Lex Luthor. Played by Jesse Eisenberg, every moment he was on screen I was either laughing at how ridiculously over the top and absurd his performance was or cringing at the constant metaphors and quotes he was making. Those who argue that there’s no humour in BVS will tell you that Luthor gives a few good laughs and they’d be right. Unfortunately though, and bare with me because my Superman knowledge ain’t the best, this is supposed to be YOUR MAIN VILLAIN WHO IS INTIMIDATING AND A GENIUS, NOT SOME INDIE PRICK WEARING A BANKSY TOP WITH A LOT OF MONEY. Luthor didn’t feel like a cunning character and had little motive for Superman to go away as he seemed to benefit greatly from the aftermath of Man Of Steel. If he really wanted him dead, surely he would do the smart thing and just shoot him with a kryptonite missile or something?

I feel like a large amount of my gripes with BVS comes from the clunky script. We all knew that DC were lagging behind Marvel in terms of a cinematic universe but oh christ was it blatantly obvious and poorly executed. Slate Marvel films all you want but they’ve at least gradually churned these films out. DC on the other hand incorporated the other members of the justice league in the most lazy way imaginable by having Batman email Wonder Woman.Yup, you read that right: EMAIL.

Even if you ignore this, the flow of this film just feels so rough, full of subplots that just feel messy and not well thought out whatsoever. Lois Lane suffers from Amazing Spiderman syndrome here, having some sort of independence and, dare I say it, character before having it stripped away and becoming a damsel in distress who needs saved not once, not twice but THREE TIMES. The dream sequences also felt unnecessary, either telling us an origin story that’s been told countless times before or just existing so they can tease at a future villain.

I couldn’t write a spoiler review without touching upon the big shocker that was Superman’s death. This I can blame partly on the trailer that revealed Doomsday who previously has savagely murdered Kal El so as soon as I was aware he’d make an appearance, I knew this was coming. I suppose you could say I would have been like this regardless if the trailer showed me but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. DC would never be ballsy enough to kill Superman permanently and so, the very last shot is off the dirt as his grave slowly rising. So close DC, you were so close to doing one ballsy thing.

I wanted to like this film so badly. Despite all of the negative reviews I had read, I still wanted to see it and enjoy it so for fans to dismiss criticism as critics being “marvel fanboys” is absurd. The film isn’t the worst thing ever. Ben Affleck gives an amazing performance, there’s the expected spectacular Snyder visuals and the action that I mentioned was a joy to behold. I have my hopes that future films, such as The Flash, will be an improvement and that DC will learn their lesson. Unfortunately though, as it stands, the gif down below sums up perfectly how I felt about Batman Vs Superman.

None animated GIF

4/10

~

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